Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

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What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

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A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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What are Antijokes? type of comedy typical joke setup anticlimax that it lack of punchline.

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What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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