A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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what do you call a gay ginger boy ? Ronan.

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

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An man walked into a bar. Unbeknownst to him, the bar happened to be a having a Rave party. The man, having epilepsy, proceeded to have a seizure. Luckily, a paramedic was there and saved his life.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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