Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +1

CRY

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's funnier than hell? heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops