A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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Cool story bro. Tell it again.

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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