How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

FUS RO DAH!!!

So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -Pizza. That'll be 20 bucks. -Here you go. -Thank you.

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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