"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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A paralysed man falls over.

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

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Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops