What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

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If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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MySpace.

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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I was once a hamster.

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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