roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

WILLY

Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

Justin Bieber

Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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