Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

canadians

Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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