What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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Roses are red , Violets Are Blue , i Dont Like rhyming , TITTIES !!

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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womens rights

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops