Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

Roses are red, violets are purple.

Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

all hail based mark

What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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