How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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When you have read this, you've already read it.

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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