why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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Mr. T watched "the notebook"

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being chased by a wolf, who promptly ate the chicken when they arrived at the other side.

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a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

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Why did the girl kill herself? Because she was brutally raped

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Why does everyone hate on justin beiber cause its easy

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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