What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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Why is a Wesley a black man ? He licks tuna

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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Q: what do you call a black priest A: Coley s**t

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Why did Colussi miss 2 years of school? -Because he died

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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