How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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What's better than doing the Hannah Montana's hoedown-throwdown? Throwin' that ho down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops