Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

V I T A M I N C !

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sticks and stones may break my bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is a Mexican's favorite holiday? Christman

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sam Hengal.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops