Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

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whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

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Adele walks into a bar. The barman says she's too ugly hahahahahahahahahahhahahahha lololololololololololololol

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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