There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's funnier than the holocaust? Pretty much everything, the killing of 6 million people was a horrible part of our world's history, and is no laughing matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A. An horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

69- by Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A school bus full of orphans falls of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Get on your knees Ho

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops