What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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WILLY

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Roses are red my shirt is blue don't take my money, their not for u -_-

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adam hodgson !

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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j

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

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An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

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What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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