A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wait what? I did not type that!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops