Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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hard cheese

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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What's green and blue? yellow

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What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

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Mitt Romney

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Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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Did you hear about the guy who did a backflip off the cliff? He died

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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How did the Muslim blow up? He accidentally left his gas on and after a while sparked up a cigarette.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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