What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

all jokes aside...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

noah is a scrub jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: why does the fire breather hate his job A: his parents were burned to death MR

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +8

69

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops