What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops