What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

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What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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hello juliano and guss. having fun?

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Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

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monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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yo mamas so cruchy people might mistake her for a cheeto!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

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What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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