Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

CORRECTION TO THE COMMENT BELOW! Its a WIN/WIN/WIN/WINWINWINWINWINWIN (WIN For at least 30 more minutes)/CUUUUM!/"SORE ASS WHINING CHILD Gonna grow into a slut SITUATION!" friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man The Anti-Christ: Do not thumb me down unless you want to feel the big burning hot spear of darkness, and you do not... You better don`t be or become a sore ass kid you allshole if you know what I am saying... Yeah! Thats right! You better fear me! Because the angrier you look... The more offended you become... The better you are starting to look...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops