Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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shammmm is a lesbian.

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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I don't like Holocaust jokes. Anne Frankly they offend me,

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pull my finger (farts)

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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Here's a joke, a black man walks into a store and buys something. that's it.

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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