What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"? He had a terrible case of dementia.

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

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What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

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John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

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Women's Rights

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops