What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

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What do you call a man with a fork stuck in his head? A man with a fork stuck in his head

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Your Mom

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There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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