A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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TIMMY

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Why did the rooster die. Because I killed it.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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-knock knock! -doors open

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What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops