ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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all your base are belong to mark

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Womens rights

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops