Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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Once there was a frog. My parents died.

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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A man makes a sandwich.

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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A black person walks out of KFC

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Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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