There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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