What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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Guns don't kill people; high speed bullets and sharp projectiles launched at high speeds usually inflict painful and possibly fatal wounds that may kill someone. That someone loves and is loved by others.

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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why do cats hate dogs the Holocaust

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops