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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

homework

A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

What did the mime say to the girl? .......

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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