What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

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Yeah i'm into fitness, Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam. To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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quik reply fuckker, im at the room on the left at the uh... forgot anywayss third floor, to the end of the hospital, btw, I told The Goat and Fingern to wait for you at the entrance, and I paid them to kick your ass... WHOS YOUR DADDY! Well soon ill be your dad and the father of your sisters first kid! Man, relax, I told them to just drag you outside and kick you in the nuts, then some atomixc elbows and make u bleed... Your suufering is none of use of me if your ded, plz reply abut your sufferage when they are done, u really think id fight your dirty shit yourself? I AM THE LEADer THE ONE WHO KNOcKS! I DONT LIKE THE FIGHT! PEOPLE FIGHT FOR ME! IN MY NamEN MY GLORY!! Amen, you will soon become an uncle... Nah, tell your sis its a joke, I already told her I insist bangign her look at the pone Goat has in his poket, her last responz is "now?" and two smileys with eyes poppingg XD Seriously, if they are not already kicking your ass... Well, they sent me a pic, I suppose you will end up at the hospital too, looks bad kid... But you know the goat, that kid wants to kill, and probably has... ill let theem know that if thhhhey kill youu, they hmmm... then I cantt beat you um mysepf, so no killins in my name, reelas ill call em, but you are just bruise now, I want moar blood. Nero Metal, the coldest leader, of the universe. (dat tok like 6 mins to tyype so wort it, if you diee, i dont responsible for the goat, but i think finger will stop him zoon.

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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