How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Internet Explorer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

69

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops