My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I lost The Game, You just did too.

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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why did the girl cry because she was raped

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What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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Roses are red my shirt is blue don't take my money, their not for u -_-

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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Ahem. Testicles. That is all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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