this is not a drill.

Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

There's two Cherys in a bath one chery asks the other one to pass the soap the other chery said what do I look like, a typewriter?

Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

A man sat on a chair

what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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