Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

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69

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lol

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

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A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops