ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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civil rights

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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knock knock Labrinth come in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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