There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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24!

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

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Twenty-Four

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops