When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because if you subtract 6 from 7 only one would survive.

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Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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69

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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what?

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

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How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

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Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Scrotum!

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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