What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

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What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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Pineapple.

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops