Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a woman leaves the kitchen.......

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

thumb_up thumb_down +11

James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops