What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Neither does he.

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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