People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Nippies

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What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

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wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

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Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

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What did the nerd say to the bully? Nothing. The bully killed him before he could say anything.

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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Yd the chicken cross the road? To SAVE THE WORLD

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How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

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Confucius say: Man who fart in church probably has a medical condition and should not be made fun of because that is cruel.

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1. Whats the difference between an orange? 2. Finish your sentence asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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