Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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Give me thumbs up!

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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penis

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Kuo-n7Du0

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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once upon a time there was a boy

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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Rose are red Violets are blue And I really hate you Friends?????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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