Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

who is mark

What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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