Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

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So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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Black People.

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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Needless to say,

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What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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