hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

There's a car about to hit me.

The joke below is absolute shit.

http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

fack me in the ace! CC

Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

knock knock piss off

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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