What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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Do you like fishsticks No

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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Cleveland winning something

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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Take off your shoes.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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homework

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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