How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

What did the man without a tongue say...

A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

Why was the Black Panther upset? Because racial tensions were high in the 60s.

irish wristwatch JLR

An Asian fails their maths exam.

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Black people

What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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