Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A thief. What do u call a black man in school? Janitor. What do you call a black man in court? Guilty

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Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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69

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops